Do you feel like you are stuck in place, spinning wheels without making much progress? Is every day like the one before?
You may need a Coach. Or a couch. Or (likely, in my experience) both…
As a coach, I often suggest therapy to my CEO clients. Fortunately, the stigma has somewhat diminished, and telling someone, “you may want to consider finding a therapist,” is no longer considered offensive; not in my circles at least.
Kevin Lawrence, author of the book “Your Oxygen Mask First”, talks about the importance of normalcy and stigma reduction: “Once people realize that it’s normal, they might be more likely to be prepared or get help earlier.” Fortunately, it is my experience as well when talking to my clients and within my circles that this new norm is good, and it is happening.
For a lighter, but equally profound, message, check out Kumail Nanjiani’s brilliant Netflix special, “Night Thoughts.”
My coaching conversations with clients go deep. We often approach the ‘therapy’ boundary, which is rather blurry between the two worlds. So much so, I got worried a few times whether I’m allowing the conversations to go too deep into that territory, which I’m obviously not qualified to walk in. Once I had a chat on this very topic with Dr. Pamela Carrington Rotto, a fellow Metronomics coach and licensed psychologist who has years of experience with coaching and therapy. How do we know when we are wandering too close to the red line, or leaving the coaching space altogether? She gave me great advice: it’s all in the tense!
The more the conversation focuses on the past, the more it is likely we’re in the therapy department. While in coaching, our sight is firmly set on the future and how to get there. Sometimes – well, often – we find that the barrier in reaching the desired future is some kind of deeply ingrained habit, caused by some baggage my client brings with them along for the journey. Such a moment is when I, for one, suggest bringing on a professional who can help to unpack it in a much safer – and often faster – manner.
A coach will help you clarify your goals, plot a path leading to achieving them, and hold you accountable to making the effort to get there.
On a therapist’s couch, you’ll dig deep into what you are carrying with you which may be slowing you down on your path, and eventually you will learn how to free yourself from the weight.
Most of the time I never meet or even talk to my client’s therapists. But that doesn’t matter. We are on the same team, helping the same person, using the tools at our disposal for greater combined effect.
So, the solution is not ‘or.’ It is ‘and.’ Coach AND a couch. How about you, do you have both?
