Have you ever answered a question or provided feedback quickly and confidently, just to be immediately informed you missed something important?
I’ve made that mistake so many times, I can’t even count; especially under pressure, time constraint, or while frustrated…. I would immediately “feel” the right answer and blurt it out. Sometimes I was even right, but the moments when I wasn’t would be deeply embarrassing to me.
I’m still training myself to slow down in those moments. I take a pause to think for a second – what is it that I may be missing? I know the person asking—but is my (currently unspoken) answer something that seems obvious to them? If so, have they already tried it or dismissed it because they know something I don’t? Do I even have the full context?”
Understanding the whole picture is important especially when providing feedback, as we could easily offend or upset the person. Taking the time at this critical point can mean the difference between support and dismissal for them.
How do we go about it? The first, obvious way, is asking clarifying questions. But, we are likely not aware of what we don’t know.
The harder and less obvious method is to take the time to “read back” the way we understand the situation and invite corrections and additions. Something along the lines of:
“The way I understand, you’re dealing with…/ you already tried…/ you don’t know how…” etc.
As an added benefit, you will learn more about how your colleague works through problems and how they think.
How do you make sure you have the whole context before answering their question or providing feedback?
